Do I Need a Sex Coach or a Sex Therapist?
Hi Lovely!
I’m Sabina.
Soon-to-be Sex Coach, Women’s Circle Facilitator & Poodle Mamma
ClAIM YOUR FREE AUDIO GUIDE
The Soft Landing
Get all the somatic benefits of this 7-minute guided audio to soothe your nervous system and reconnect with your body.
There’s a moment in every woman’s life when intimacy stops being about performance and starts becoming a question.
Not Am I doing this right?
But Why does it feel like something’s missing?
Why do I feel so disconnected—from my body, my desire, myself?
If that’s where you are, you’re not alone.
I’ve been there too.
In 2020, my life cracked open.
I had just separated from my husband after discovering he was gay. Everything I believed about myself—my desirability, my worth, my role as a partner and wife—collapsed.
I felt broken. Hollow. Deeply ashamed.
But somewhere inside me, a small voice whispered: There’s more than this.
And that whisper led me to getting my own sex coach.
To somatic healing.
To exploring pleasure not as something to perform—but as something sacred.
Now, I support women who are just like I was - women who have been holding it all together for years.
For so many of us—especially high-functioning, high-achieving, always-got-it-together ones—intimacy can become one of the most neglected and misunderstood parts of life.
It’s often all wrapped up in shame, or totally disconnected from our day-to-day sense of self.
That’s why I’m so passionate about this work.
Because sex coaching isn’t just about sex.
It’s about the parts of you that got buried beneath survival and striving.
It’s about reclaiming your relationship to feeling—real, grounded, pleasurable feeling—in a body that’s been silenced for too long.
So, what actually is a sex coach?
A sex coach is some who helps you reconnect with your pleasure, desire, your boundaries, your body, and your truth.
Not in a fluffy, one-size-fits-all kind of way.
But in a real, grounded, somatic way—one that actually meets your nervous system where it’s at.
Integrative Sex coaching is practical, embodied, science & trauma informed.
We use tools like nervous system regulation, somatic & embodied movement, gentle breathwork, touch, and pleasure-based education—the kind you never got at school.
Wait—do I need a sex coach or a sex therapist?
Let’s get honest.
It’s easy to feel confused.
So many of us have tried therapy (sometimes for years), and we still feel numb, stuck, or unsure how to connect to our bodies.
So here’s a simple breakdown:
Sex therapy is incredible if you’re healing from acute trauma, working through mental health concerns, or navigating relational or sexual dysfunction.
Sex coaching, on the other hand, is about the here and now.
It’s body-based.
It’s action-oriented.
It works with your senses, your breath, your boundaries, your pleasure.
“The body is where our trauma lives. But it's also where our joy lives. When we reconnect with our body, we reconnect with both.”
— Bessel van der Kolk.
So if you’re already doing the inner work—but still don’t feel in your body… sex coaching might be the missing piece.
Why is this work so powerful?
Because it’s shame-free, body-led and doesn’t just change your sex life—it changes your relationship with yourself.
You learn to listen to your needs. You learn to honor your yes, your no, your maybe.
You start to feel safe in your own skin again. And you realize that you were never broken.
Your needs and desires were just unmet.
So many women come to this work when they’re at a threshold like I did.
After a breakup.
After a baby.
After burnout.
Something’s shifted. And the version of intimacy they were taught no longer fits.
In Integrative Sex Coaching, we don’t offer quick hacks or toy. Instead, we learn to feel into our bodies and we learn to come home to them. Meaning we *actually* learn how to have a loving relationship with our bodies and to become aware of what she needs.
This is particularly powerful for women who’ve been strong for much too long. Women who are exhausted by emotional over-functioning and erotic undernourishment. Women who are ready to stop performing intimacy and start experiencing their own pleasure and desires.
And here’s how sex coaching helped me:
I got to know my desires (again)—even after I’d lost touch with it completely.
It supported me in healing the sexual shame I’d carried from growing up in purity culture.
It helped me feel safe in my body—maybe for the first time in my life.
I learned how to say no and actually trust it.
How to say yes and actually feel it.
And how to explore pleasure in a way that wasn’t tied to guilt, performance, or pressure.
Whether you're single, partnered, healing, exploring, or somewhere in between—this work meets you where you’re at.
The truth is…
…You’re not broken if sex feels off.
You’re not failing if your desire has gone quiet.
You’re not too much if you want more.
Maybe you’re just tired.
Maybe you’re just holding too much.
Maybe you’ve never actually had a space to ask, what do I want?
If something stirred in your chest as you read this—if your body whispered yes—I’d love to stay connected.
I write letters for women like you.
Women who are tired of pretending, and ready to feel again.
Women who want softness. Slowness. Sensuality.
Women who are brave enough to begin.
Or start with a free journaling prompt: “What does intimacy mean to me right now?”
Until then, remember:
You are not too much.
You are not too late.
And your body is yours to come home to.
With wilde tenderness,
Sabina Wilde
Certified Sex Coach (2026)
